Until you do My Will, I will oppress you.
“Until you do My Will, I will oppress you.
You think you are being oppressed by the world and its disasters, but
this is not so.
You imagine standing up to the world, changing the world, to escape
from its relentless contraction and abasement,
But there is no escape in defiance—no escape from Me.
Next you imagine capitulating to the world and allowing it to destroy
you,
Because who can stand in the face of those omnipotent disasters, that
relentless sabotage and cunning?
But there is no escape in capitulation either, no escape from Me in
sacrificing yourself
To the world you think you see.
Lastly, you imagine your own self to be the oppressor, and so dream
of standing up to it and transforming it,
Of capitulating to it and being destroyed by it—
And yet there is no escape from Me in this either, because who but
your own supremely oppressive self
Could dream such dreams?
No: Until you do My will alone, My oppression will never lift.
And what is that Will? It is obedience in contraction, obedience in
abasement, obedience in annihilation.
It is renunciation of expectation, sacrifice of all imagined outcomes,
the end of the cherished illusion of the self-determined self,
Of the one chosen and instructed and empowered by God,
The one who can turn even heroic obedience into the mask of rebellion.
Not that, not any “that” is your Lord,
But I alone.
I am there in the Blackness, in the Black Night of Time—
In that chamber where the lines of your silhouette and the motion of
your hand.
Appear nowhere at all.
Is there power somewhere in that ultimate weakness?
Is there healing in that sickness?
Is there Liberation in that cell of solitary confinement?
Is there Mercy in that dark night of the soul?
Really? Is this the question you would address to Me at the ultimate
threshold?
Do you really expect Me to show you the outcome before the fact?
Slip you a clue? Grant you a premature glance into the Secret?
A hint of the true answers that were written down before the
world was made? A glimpse of the Final Score?
Never. I will never do that because I am an honest Teacher and an
impartial Grader of Tests.
Until you step into that final Night you will never know.
How can Knowledge walk free of the exhaustion of its endless
translators and commentators and petitioners and betrayers
Until no-one remains to claim it?
I can give you no answer to the question you ask because you are
that question:
The only way you can ask it
Is to step beyond the threshold.”
The Reason for Darkness
we can allow ourselves to be reduced to a lump of coal, and then let that lump be squeezed in Allah’s fist until it becomes a diamond
The sole reason for spiritual darkness is to learn to see and know Allah in that darkness; in the words of Psalm 139, “If I make my bed in Hell, behold, Thou art there.” It is easy to see Him in the light—but if you can see Him in the darkness, then you have come to the deepest seeing; as it says in the first chapter of the Gospel of John, “His light shone in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.”
The sole purpose of suffering is to know the joy of love in the midst of suffering. This is the deepest love, a love which is only possible if we know that all love is from Allah and to Allah. In the words of the hadith qudsi, “I was a Hidden Treasure Who longed to be known, so I created the universe that I might be known.” This is the entire reason for the creation and assumption of the veil, for human birth into this world.
There is even a station at which evil and darkness and suffering are understood as the crucible, the necessary limit, that allows—or even forces—the Presence of Allah in the spiritual Heart to deepen and concentrate until it becomes incandescent, thereby opening the door to a world where evil and darkness and suffering can never come. Here we can see how gratitude to the All-Merciful for everything that He sends, light or darkness, is not a case of beaten resignation, but the final result of the realization that “all things work together for good to them that love God” [Romans 8:28].
If we can really see, not just believe, that everything comes from Allah, then we can take anything; we can allow ourselves to be reduced to a lump of coal, and then let that lump be squeezed in Allah’s fist until it becomes a diamond. By undergoing this transformation, in this darkest of times, we will have participated in Eternity’s deepest self-actualization; we will have forged realizations, and values, and treasures, and essences, that no Golden Age could ever match. In the words of the Gospel according to St. Matthew, this is how “take up your cross and follow Me” becomes “My yoke is easy and My burden light”—or as the Surah al-Inshirah of the Holy Qur‘an says it: Behold! With hardship goeth ease/ With hardship goeth ease [Q. 94:5-6]. This ease doesn’t just come after the hardship is over—it is already there in the midst of it. It is realized as soon as we take full advantage of the truth that:
There is no refuge from Allah but in Him [Q. 9:118].
